How to get a head start in your internship
. Pun intended, if you wish.
By J. Taylor, intern at Vanguard's art department.Alternative subtitle: How to be fucked without ever having had any chance at all.
By B. Kinney, ad exec at Vanguard.1. Chose the right boss/
If your future boss/superior is accidentially your ex-boyfriend whom you want back, awesome! Way to kill two birds with one stone!
Very good choice!2. Meet the new boss and make a good impression.
V.v.v. bad example: say something like "Hey Bri, it's me, Justin, remember, the guy you allowed yourself to love and who took your heart and shreddered it to little pieces because I got totally bored with your fancy life and decided to go for some boheme chic instead. Cool?"
Taylor *is smug*: "Hi."
has a boner
is fucked*: "Errrr."
So far, so good.3. The job interview.
V.v.v.v. bad example: say something like "Hey Bri, I know I treated you like shit, but I came to my senses. Wanna hang out?"
Taylor *knows the way his superior's mind works and beats him with his own weapons by ranting on and on*: "OMG best opportunity ever for studies that YOU are paying for and our former relationship isn't a problem, is it?"
Kinney *is fucked*: "Errrr... relationship?"
Taylor *prepares for the final blow* "Well, if it never was a relationship, no harm done, when can I start?
Kinney *is fucked and knows it*: "Errrr."
Taylor: has got himself a new internship
Very good! That's the way to go!4. Meeting the boss in private.
V.v.v.v. bad example: visit him at his place.
Better example: chose a public place. For instance, meet him at his favourite club. What a funny coincidence!!! And then:
Taylor *acts all innocent*
Kinney *is basically fucked*
Taylor *is very evil and sucks on his finger in most suggestive manner*
Kinney *has a boner, thinks that Taylor's behaviour is very mean and knows he's totally fucked*5. Working with the boss.
V.v.v.v. bad exmaple: lecturing him.
Better example: be devoted to him and his work. And:
has a boner
is fucked*: "Errrr."6. Confrontations with the boss.
V.v.v.v. bad example: run away before discussion is over.
Better: bring your point across.
Taylor *bitches back*
Kinney *confused* "Huh?"
Kinney *is so fucked the author is lost for words*7. Getting your top back.
Since he's so very fucked, the rest is a piece of pie. Have a good talk, admit your mistakes and things will be back to normal.
Kinney: "Are you sorry?"
Taylor: "Very much so."
Never hurt me again? Will you behave from now on?"
Promise. Promise."8. Enjoy your success...
...with some nice and playful office!sex!
Please, DON'T HOTLINK!dedicated to rosi, just beeeeeeeecause!